12th Grade English
By the time I got to senior year of high school, I was ready to be out of high school. Not because I was so smart or anything like that, I just really hated spending all my time in school. None of the work was particularly interesting to me and I had lots of big dreams that I felt were being put on hold to read books I didn’t choose for myself and turn in statistical feats of strength for what seemed to be no reason at all. In the moment, it’s very hard to see what skills will be applicable to the world outside of the classroom. Truthfully, it’s still kind of a mystery to me in most cases. That’s not the point though - I’ve voiced my distaste for school many times but that’s just because I hate when people make me do things that I don’t decide for myself. There’s plenty good that comes with an education.
In Mr. Fletcher’s AP English Lit class, we would always do these “Socratic Seminars” as we read each book. We would move all the desks to the edge of the room to sit in a big circle and Mr. Fletcher would present a topic to us that was related to our reading assignment. Now, to be honest, I barely read anything in high school. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. Most all the books we read put me to sleep immediately, so I would be walking into these seminars totally unprepared. Lucky for me, there was a loophole. We would receive credit for participating in the conversation, but the conversation was easy to shift. As soon as we got away from the plot points and moved into a more theoretical discussion, I would chime in and talk about the universal themes or how the concepts can be found in the modern world. Never had to read a page, just had to have an opinion. I mean, I’m sure Mr. Fletcher saw through it and was probably annoyed but, whatever.
There was one seminar though that I still think about fairly regularly. We were reading a book which I don’t remember the name of because… I didn’t read it, but we were speaking about significance, or being important. As a group of fairly bright high school seniors, many of us had ambitions to be somebody, or be held in high regard by the world at large. When you’re young and ambitious it feels like you have to make a difference, you know? Mr. Fletcher then proposed the idea that perhaps significance is relative. I had never considered that.
Maybe it is, though. Is it better to be known a little bit by a lot of people or to be really important to one person? It depends how you see it I guess, but touching one person deeply could be just as if not more rewarding than being kind of recognizable to the masses. Or maybe if you focus on something small, something tangible and close to you, then that can have a butterfly effect. By worrying about your immediate circle you can eventually have that larger effect you desired at the start.
I guess what I’m trying to say is it’s important not to lose sight of the impact you can have on the things and people that you can reach naturally and easily. I think it’s natural to want to be really important on the highest level, but it’s just as rewarding to be important on the level you’re currently at. You could even argue you’ll never get to those higher levels if you don’t start working with where you are.
I want to quote something I read in high school here to wrap it all up nicely but, again, I barely read anything. What a shame.
-J.P.