Bad Dreams

I haven’t been sleeping very well lately. I usually get up three or four times a night between the hours of 1:30 and 4:30 a.m.. I toss and turn and my back hurts when I wake up unless I pull my knees up to my chest and my shoulder locks up if I keep it under my pillow.

What if my dreams are bad? Not the ones I have while I sleep. What if my dreams are bad? What if all these things I want to do are killing me? What if chasing them leads to my demise? I can commit myself to the pursuit, but they don’t make any promises to me. There’s no finish line. And what if I do realize these dreams? What dreams will I have next? Will I ever dream again? Will I wish I never did?

-J.P.