Just Be At Dinner

Have you ever gone out to eat with some friends on a night where you didn’t particularly feel your best? Maybe something triggered an insecurity earlier in the day or you just woke up on the wrong side of the bed and you stumbled through the day filled with doubt and existential dread? Then you end up surrounded by people that you’re supposed to be comfortable around but you just don’t feel that way. You feel isolated and silly, and then the inner monologue starts telling you that everything you’re saying is stupid and that you should probably go home, or even better, you should probably just leave the state and never see your so-called friends ever again. You don’t have anything good to say and you feel like you’re wasting everyone’s time and everyone’s space and they all probably hate you and even the waiter thinks you’re shit. You don’t understand why, and you don’t know how to fix it. You ever feel like that?

That’s when it’s time to focus back on the what instead of the why. Take a breath. Take a look around you. Remember that you don’t have to believe all your thoughts, and that you’re not in danger. There’s nothing to escape. Everyone is there with you and it’s ok. You’re doing fine.

Just be at dinner.

-J.P.