Still No Thing

Day two. (It’s more like day 365(6) + 30(8.1) but… who’s counting) Still no thing. This answer has not come easy. Compounded with some of the questions that were presented the last time we spoke with the Abbot and I’m forced to do quite a bit of deep digging. I was hoping to be closer to these kinds of answers by now but age isn’t always the best measuring stick. When you use a more accurate tool - say something like PT (practice time) then it makes more sense to be coming face to face with these questions.

I always have to remind myself that while I may have been dreaming about this for most all my life, I’ve been practicing for much less. If we’re being completely honest it’s only been a year this July, which in terms of a lifetime is nothing. To get the kinds of answers I’m looking for takes active focus. Dedicated time to thinking about these questions. That’s ok. We’ll be better off for sticking it out through the confusion. I’m hoping that period of active focus will make it easier to then live in that pursuit and be more comfortable. Hypothetically, that comfortability will allow me to communicate more effectively. In turn, that more effective communication will help establish stronger relationships. Stronger relationships would be fruitful for both sides and quality of life would hypothetically increase.

And what’s the goal if we’re not working together? What’s the point, if not to aspire to the highest quality of life?

-J.P.